Toddlerhood

Emma invariably throws her food on the floor when she's had enough. Instead of just not eating any more food, instead of complaining to me, instead of pushing on her tray, she takes a handful of food, reaches over the side of her high chair, and lets go. Sometimes, I catch her, just when she's ready to drop her food, and I say to her," Young lady, don't you do it, or Mama will be very angry." You know what her response is, right? Yep, she looks me right in the eye and lets go.

Tonight, she did it with a particularly messy food: shrimp and crab gumbo. This stuff is delicious, but it's gumbo, so it's loaded with rice, which is a pain to clean up off the floor. The best way to clean it, in fact, is to wait a little while until it's dry and then sweep it up. But waiting means running the risk of tracking it all over the house, and that stuff is sticky! Long story short, waiting for it to dry isn't an option, so I have to clean it up when all it wants to do is stay right where it's fallen...a total pain in the behind! Anyway, back to the story. I decided that I'd had enough, that she had disobeyed me one time too many, and by gosh, she was having a time out. But what to do? I had to clean up, and she was a mess (did I also mention her penchant for rubbing food into her hair?), so I couldn't put her anyplace that wasn't right where she was, until the cleanings of both her tray and her were complete. So I simply said, "That's it. You're going into time out." Then I turned her so that she was facing away from me, and I left her there, strapped in her hight chair, while I went ten feet away to clean her tray.

Did she complain? Nope. Did she cry? Uh-uh. Did she seem the least bit fazed by this form of discipline? Absolutely not. And I know that, tomorrow, her food is going on the floor when she's done eating. So I'm left to wonder: how do you discipline a 20-month-old child? Do you even try? And is food-throwing one of those things that you just live with, knowing that they'll eventually (please!) grow out of it? So many parents of kids Emma's age complain about the same thing. Clearly, it's like a rite of passage or something. You can't get out of your toddler years without throwing food on the floor, shoving something up your nose, and having a tantrum at least once. Is that what the Toddler Rule Book says?

I don't believe in the Terrible Twos. Every age has its terribleness and its wonderfulness. Toddlerhood is an exciting time. Emma's eyes light up when she gets a new concept. And every day, she does something new, and I ask myself, "How did she learn that?" It seems effortless on her part. But as she approaches her second birthday, I'm starting to hear, "Oh, she's almost in the Terrible Twos," or, "She's sure acting like she's in the Terrible Twos already." I think about it, and I wonder, just who are the twos terrible for? Emma? Nope. She's doing all kinds of new and exciting things. She's also beginning to learn how to express herself, and she's gaining a little bit of independence from me. Heady stuff, but very cool for her. So, then, are the twos terrible for me? Nope. I live to see her branch out and try things, to run instead of walk, to experiment and fail, and then experiment and succeed. And all this independence means that, when she stops for hugs, kisses, and cuddles, they mean that much more, since she's making the choice to pause in her adventures for an affectionate moment with me. That's the kind of time out we can all enjoy.